A blind hymn writer, George Matheson, felt the anguish.
Does God really love me?
How could I be suffering so much if He loves me?
George’s anguish reminds me there is nothing new under the sun when suffering is chronic.
“Something happened to me, which was known only to myself, and which caused me the most severe mental suffering. The hymn was the fruit of that suffering.”1
O love that will not let me go,
I rest my weary soul in thee…
(“O Love That Will Not Let Me Go,” Matheson, G., 1882)
Whispers of the enemy’s lies
Adam and Eve were originally safe and free.
In God's perfect love.
In sinless perfection and beauty.
Safely loved in relationship with Him and others.
The evil snake whispered…
Doubts and lies.
“Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, ‘Did God actually say…’” (Gen. 3:1 ESV).
Jesus loves me, this I know.
For the Bible tells me so.
Little ones to Him belong,
They are weak but He is strong.
(“Jesus Loves Me,” Warner, A. B., 1859)
God’s glorious love story, in Jesus Christ
Father, this is what You tell us:
“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear” (1 Jn. 4:18 ESV).
“In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins” (1 Jn. 4:10 ESV).
Show us Your perfect love, Your glorious love story for me and my suffering sisters in Christ.
For we are united with Jesus Christ.
In. Him.
In a sick body, while living in this fallen world, broken since Genesis 3.
So, sometimes we don’t…”feel” Your love.
Sometimes, we anguish like George.
We need Your strong, perfect love in those wretched moments.
O, the deep, deep love of Jesus,
Vast, unmeasured, boundless, free,
Rolling as a mighty ocean
In its fullness over me.
(“O, the deep, deep love of Jesus,” Francis, S. T., p. d.)
My suffering…AND Your love
Every day, fill us up.
Roll us up as a mighty ocean.
Cocoon us, held tight. Safe. Surrounded.
Wrap us with Your love.
Protected from the enemy’s darts of lies.
“Be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil” (Eph. 6:10-11 ESV).
In the gospel. Your glorious gospel of grace. Of love.
Our suffering is not punishment for sin.
Jesus paid it ALL,
All to Him I owe.
Sin had left a crimson stain,
He washed it white as snow.
Help us experience this truth to our soul's core when the enemy insidiously lies.
“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Rom. 8:1 ESV).
I hear the Savior say,
"Thy strength indeed is small,
Child of weakness, watch and pray,
Find in Me thine all in all."
(“Jesus Paid It All,” Hall, E. M., 1865)
“Hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us” (Rom. 5:5 ESV).
Our suffering is a context for You to draw us close to You as Your beloved daughters.
“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness” (Lam. 3:22-23 ESV, emphasis added).
Our suffering is conforming us more and more to the image of our beloved Savior!
“For those he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, so that he would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters” (Rom. 8:29 CSB).
O Cross that liftest up my head,
I dare not ask to fly from thee.
I lay in dust, life’s glory dead,
and from the ground there blossoms red,
life that shall endless be.
“I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine” (Sgs. 6:3 ESV).
Abiding in Your love in this illness
I give thee back the life I owe,
that in thine ocean depths its flow
may richer, fuller be.
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly” (Jn. 10:10 ESV).
The love of God, how rich and pure!
How measureless and strong!
It shall forevermore endure—
The saints’ and angels’ song.
(“The Love of God,” Lehman, F. M., 1917)
Resting in Your love, Your abundant life, when pain overwhelms
O Joy that seekest me through pain,
I cannot close my heart to thee.
“I have told you these things so that my joy may be in you and your joy may be complete” (Jn. 15:11 ESV).
I trace the rainbow through the rain,
and feel the promise is not vain,
that morn shall tearless be.
“For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Rom. 8:38-39 ESV).
Help us to know Your love, to abide and rest in intimacy with You when symptoms collapse us. Help us to adore You there, held fast in Your unending love when the enemy tempts us to doubt. Bring our thoughts continually back to the cross of our beloved Jesus Christ in gospel-centered and Christ-exalting songs, reflecting Your Word, reminding us of the deep, deep love of Jesus…until we see Him face to face. In His name, Love divine, all loves excelling, amen.
Love divine, all loves excelling,
Joy of heaven to earth come down,
Fix in us Thy humble dwelling;
All Thy faithful mercies crown.
Changed from glory into glory,
till in heav'n we take our place,
till we cast our crowns before Thee,
lost in wonder, love, and praise.
(“Love Divine, All Loves Excelling,” Wesley, C., 1747)
Sister in Christ, I know you’re hurting too. So I pray…
“that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith;
that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints
what is the width and length and depth and height—to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge;
that you may be filled with all the fullness of God” (Eph 3:16-19 ESV).
Did you know?
Chronic pain, familiar to those with chronic illness, is particularly co-morbid with depression and anxiety. Even in mature believers in Christ.
This is not surprising when we understand the interconnected intricacies of our God-designed brains and bodies. When we suffer with all of it, we need His healing mercy. Praise God for the many tools He’s given us to help us! As with David, who sang and played music into his anguish and the anguish of others like Saul, one of these tools is music!
Sister in Christ, if you are hurting…from all the pain and illness, this music therapy-inspired podcast is for you…and me. I used it at 3 a.m. this morning (my dog woke me up, and that was that). Praise God, it helped!
Tips for using podcasts:
As you listen to these Scriptures and hymns, focus on Jesus.
Use noise-cancelling headphones, eliminate distraction, close your eyes, and put your body in a comfortable position, ideally lying flat with your knees supported by a pillow.
Tap on your body if it’s still hard to focus on the sound.
As you breathe to the music, put one hand on your belly and notice its rise and fall. Fill your belly with air as each Scripture and hymn fills your thoughts.
The beat of the music intentionally offers you musical phrases of inhalations of about eight beats, a short resting there, and a slow exhale of about 6-8 beats. Ask God to help you breathe in time to the music and “sing” the hymns in your thoughts, using this set-apart time to worship and adore Him.
Practice as He helps reset your autonomic nervous system and heal the beautifully complex body He’s created for us.
I’m joining you! I need this, too! Please email me your feedback, and I will tweak our podcasts accordingly. I’d love to know if you like the length.
Dough, W. J. (1995). The hymnwriters: Our unknown friends, a biographical guide to British and American sacred song. Providence House, p. 111.
O Love That Will Not Let Me Go